Things never shrink quite right...

So... if you are a fat girl, you know, when you lose weight, even if it is temporary, it is never in the places you want it, or how you want it to.

I am the small chested, handed, footed fat person... I think all of these are terrible. First, I am a female. We are measured by our curves and I think it is wholly unfair to give a fat girl small tits. We already have to deal with size issues, but then we feel like some sort of circus freak because we are the fat person with no boobs. I watch fat men... or even just slightly overweight men walk by with bigger tatas than mine and I am jealous and horrified. I mean, take some pride, put a bra on it, give those bitches some support! Then I have theses ridiculous small hands and since Im chubby, they look like Cabbage Patch Kids hands... I once had a friend tell me to put my baby hands back in they aren't done baking yet! I showed him... And to make it worse, I have these little feet, I can still wear children's shoes if it weren't for the fact that my feet are wide. I am small in places it doesn't make sense to be small in!

So when you start to lose weight, it comes off in weird places. Always, ALWAYS the boobs first... and the feet... not the places I care to be thinner in... Take it from my belly, my hips, my back, my chin, my neck.... but my feet?!?! why?!?! really???? And because gravity works, what's left always sags... why can't the skin keep up with the shrinking fat cells??? Is that really so much to ask for? I don't think so. My reward for shedding a few ounces is to look as fabulous as I feel.

*sigh*

But no matter what, I love my big ass...

Ambition

So, something that every fat person does... or even mildly over weight... or... even bulimics for that matter, I guess... anyway... most people in their lives at one point or another endevor to be a healthier being. I've done it, several times in my 28 years of life. Frequently a vain attempt to shed some covetted inches before some major life event like: Prom, a first date, High School Reunion, Company Christmas party, Wedding, or Friday night... Whatever the incentive, you read up on the newwest popular craze, buy the bottles of pills, identify the alien plant life in the organic section at the grocery store and then go home and choke down the unimaginable just to go kill your self for X amount of days on a piece of machinery you purchased to be your future alternative clothing rack or the rave work out video that in 2  months you pawn off on your best friend telling them "It changed my life, here, borrow my copy!" with no intention of ever asking for it back...

Well, All of that to say-

I am back on the horse. I decided back in January, at a whopping 370Lbs- a weight I am ashamed to claim, that I NEED to buckle down and make a change. I am a single mom and I love my daughter to pieces... She of all people in the world, deserves a mom to see her through life. So... I'm walking... nothing exciting, nothing big. I'm starting out small. I'm easily discouraged and I dont want to overwhelm myself. But, I did do something big, to set myself a goal. I joined Team in Training, a marathon group who raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you read that correctly, yes, that means I'm doing a MARATHON. Fat girls and marathons, yeah, they dont really mix well... but I'm going to make it happen.

Here goes nothing...

life happens

I started this blog forever ago, it seems. I have moments of brilliance... I entertain myself to no end, its great and I wanted a safe place to share some of those things. I believe the notion that people are always their own biggest critics and I am no exception. But I love to laugh... the combination of which makes for potentially hillarious inner monolouge and I just didnt think it fair to keep the humor to myself...

Ultimately, it's not just humor... I also wanted a place to share the experiences that also come with being a zaftig individual. Those horrific moments of "oh... my... god... did that just happen...?" Everyone can relate to such things.

However, both seem to come in waves and right now is apparently a dry season. Boo...